Nov 26, 2021
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The Met-Met

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Imagine for a moment that you live in the year 2022. That year before The COVID mutated and killed off 95% of the population. The year a scientist created a drug in his basement that stimulates our reproductive yearnings and we repopulated the planet ten-fold in the wake of The COVID. The year studies drew…

Think about for a second that you just dwell within the yr 2022. That yr earlier than The COVID mutated and killed off 95% of the inhabitants. The yr a scientist created a drug in his basement that stimulates our reproductive yearnings and we repopulated the planet ten-fold within the wake of The COVID. The yr research drew a hyperlink between baseball fandom and early onset dementia. The yr Donald Trump, on a grey pony named Tootsie, alongside along with his paid-for minions, recaptured the White Home, solely to stroll out ten minutes later with a comb he needed again that Biden had refused to ship him (whereas all his minions had been sentenced to life in jail). And naturally, the yr Meta actually acquired going, Zuckerboy’s well-known alternate actuality meta-universe, or the corporate behind it.On the time, common people, like my grandparents, didn’t know a lot about Meta. They had been too busy worrying about points like provide chain logjams, China, telephone radiation, and alien invasions. Life had change into this absurdist chore you labored by for a small window of drunken bliss on Christmas Day, proper earlier than you must clear all of it up and take a handful of TUMs. That’s the place Meta stepped in.With none actual sense of irony or cognizance of their very own absurdity, when the dystopian imaginative and prescient of metaphorically numbing the populace for causes of mass management had change into as cliché and commonplace as your common noon sitcom, Zuckerboy launched what was finally an idea pitch. Not solely that, however he rebranded his total firm beneath its banner as if he had been in a race to say digital actuality as his personal. Unbeknownst to us foolish minions, he would succeed far past what even he may think about, subverting actuality itself, taking up the minds of our youngsters, and creating the central energy home that we all know right now. That ‘alternate’ actuality nonetheless exists, creeping alongside in its petty tempo, however it pales compared to life within the Metaverse.So quick ahead to right now. The Metaverse has change into so meta-real that quasi-educated hipster-lites in every single place converse of the meta nature of the whole lot, as if all of the universe had been some type of gradient mirror of itself, the extra reflective the extra “actual”. Each pigtailed lady with lollipop sneakers speaks within the language of the meta, wrapping a logically vapid rhythm of talking atop layers of indirection and pseudo-philosophy aimed to tickle on the precipice of enlightenment, dissipating within the smokescreen alleyway of the aimless presumption. The metaverse is, certainly, the penultimate embodiment of that quintessentially esoteric secular religion, baked in on the velocity of a CPU cycle, solidifying all the time the shallow narcissistic musings of the eighteen yr previous pc wizard who conflates the ordered system of software program and the digital programs it creates with actuality itself. It’s no surprise in a time when hyper-narrative mass delusional threads of insignificance plague our minds in a continuing loop that an concept so grossly inept and incapable of curing the ills of our current religious woes is hoisted up because the panacea.Escape. Final escape. The bliss of transferring on into one other realm whereas sustaining our foothold on this one. That’s, to perform in order to return as shortly as doable to the metaverse. Ignore the cool irony underpinning all of it, the too apparent notion that the very ills we face are attributable to the interconnected basis on which the metaverse sits, created by some guys who realized sufficient math, psychology and coding abilities, mashed them collectively for final revenue, and hooked into the deepest components of our psyche with the hassle of a pull request. How laughable of a notion that right now’s victors are glorified engineers whose philosophical knowledge stops at web page ten of Catcher within the Rye, after which they type of realized to code, type of realized some math, type of realized AI, constructed crappy web sites, had been absorbed by the metaverse and have become its devoted lackeys, preaching typically of their glorified path to riches and mental purity as remaining testomony to the banality of that different fleshy world. They’ve usurped actuality itself.So we come now to the very fulcrum of the Metaverse, a spot so meta-real, so finely attuned to the miasmic wasteland referred to as “actual life” that seeps in undesirable and retains us from totally changing into absorbed within the meta: the MetaMetaverse. Often known as The Met-Met. The place self-referential begets self-referential begets self-referential, the place we maintain a mirror as much as the mirror held as much as us and see that perfection, on this alternate hyper-realistic fantasy world, is rooted firmly in our perception that it exists.The Met-Met was invented out of a must go one step additional. As we started to comprehend that metaphorically floating within the gooey goodness of our self-envisioned utopia in a sea of self-encased electron bundles shifting within the rhythmic sway of harmonious pleasure would inevitably max out on the time restrict we may handle to remain plugged in, we sought an answer to maintain us plugged in all the time. The met-met is as a lot philosophical as it’s a actual and tangible factor. So what’s the Met-Met?Met-Met was conceived as a method to bridge the hole between actual life and the metaverse. Consider it just like the Metaverse’s holding space, a medium level that binds flesh-and-bone individuals to the Metaglopolis. The Met-Met takes its cues from the Metaverse and makes an attempt to recreate it in the true world. Life exterior the metaverse is way from good, and the Met-Met extracts key classes from the metaverse and applies them to actual life. Ideas we’ve all come to affiliate with the Metaverse — sharing, kindness, creativity, function enjoying, bliss, infinite quantities of exercise, lack of tension, cleanliness, reputation, a lot of issues to purchase — are recreated within the Met-Met. In a communal model, the Met-Met provides these points of the metaverse not out there in actual life. It’s an area for individuals to be secure and productive and considerate. To pool their assets and attempt to make issues higher.As a result of everyone knows none of that is doable within the “actual” world. And we are able to’t all the time dwell within the metaverse. So why not transfer to the Met-Met the place you possibly can cease coping with that ugliness of actuality, with all its taxes and and hangovers and shit smells.The Met-Met is a mirrored image of the metaverse and it’s values, that are that actual life sucks, and you’ll’t do something about it however plug in and get zonked within the infinite algorithmic tide of satisfaction. By making that obligatory however depressing side extra palatable, the Met-Met will make sure you’ll by no means really feel dangerous once more.However what’s it, you wish to know? What’s something, actually? Don’t ask what. What’s pedestrian. Monoliths are constructed from What. Greatness is construct from Why. The Why is as a result of we wanted an escape from that small sliver of life we nonetheless needed to endure exterior Zuckerfucker’s Meta. We would have liked that final mainline to the mind to assist us get by this nasty shitrace of a life. The Met-Met is the place you go to dwell, breath, eat, and plug in to the metaverse, when you poop in our insulated tubes and have stake slush steamed into your forearm.That’s it. Go eat Turkey now!

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